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NOTICE: YOU HAVE UNTIL JULY 1, 2010 TO FINISH READING THIS! The John Dies at the End bonus adventure! Not available in print! The below tale of wonder and horror was written a couple of years ago as a "sequel" to my horror novel John Dies at the End. This unfinished adventure is not included in the print edition of JDatE that is coming out this fall, and right now is an online exclusive. I intend to write the remaining 2/3 of the tale one of these days when JDatE is no longer dominating my life. Later this year or maybe 2010. Most men can't make it through even five words of what I'm about to tell you. For most, the horror is just too much. Others are just humongous pussies. Either way, this is your chance to turn back. Before it starts, before those terrible five words. 
Will you press on? My name is David Wong, and this is my challenge to you. I'll give you a second to think about it. In the mean time, tell me if you know what this is a picture of: 
Here's another view. Recognize it? 
If you answered "a brain cell under a microscope," you're right. For the second one. The first, is a picture of the universe.
The little bright dots are galaxies. Who's holding the camera? I don't know. God, I guess. A team of scientists published it. Here they are, side by side. The universe, and a single brain cell. 
Pics by VisualComplexity.com, as
seen in The
NY Times.
Yeah. A related question: Would you be willing to spend the night with a corpse? Just you, alone, in a pitch black room, with a dead body propped up on the sofa? Would you get a good night's sleep if I made you share the bed with the corpse? Probably not. In fact, I know people who would physically fight their way out of the room if they were even threatened with having to do such a thing. Why? I can't find a single example, anywhere in history, of anyone ever being attacked by a dead body. Dead people seem to be the least dangerous people on the planet. And yet... the only ones among us who don't fear the dead are those who've been carefully trained not to. Why? Do you wonder why almost all humans are born with a fear of the dark? It's not the rational fear of sleepily tripping over the dog, either. No, a child left alone in a lit room, when the lights go off, ceases to feel alone. And even now, when you pass darkened doorways or blackened windows at night, don't you sometimes feel like if you had turned fast enough, you could have caught a face there, looking back at you? And when you do look and see nothing, the unspoken thought is always, "See, there's nothing there. Now." I can tell you about them, about the... things in the shadows. But this is your warning. Once you know them, they'll know you, too. And they're a bunch of assholes. Scoff, tell me you don't believe in the supernatural, fine. Whatever. Just ask yourself, do we live here...
...Or do we live here?
I think you're almost ready. One more picture: 
Check it out. That's his ear hair. Okay, let's do this. It begins with five words. I once saw a grown man, after hearing these words, press his palms over his ears and run from the room, muttering nonsense to block it out. Five words, and you'll know what kind of story this is...  
Keep reading -> Index The Shadow Man Page 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 An Animal in Bed Page 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 Several People Die Page 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 Falconer Gets a Head Page 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 Dave Gets Killed Page 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 |